dear dear, was talking to wanhui, she say she can feel tension between us..
we've been quarrelling a lot.. saying sorry a lot.. i wonder why we start to quarrel so much.. yet all i wanna do i say i love you.. but saying it doesnt solve a thing.. it just distracts you and calms the anger down..

i try to think about what we been quarrelling about.. but other than me not doing things right.. i cant recall.. and i feel worried because i wonder if the problem was talked out and solved. or did you keep the fire in?

yesterday i was being unreasonable.. it wasnt the fries.. it was because i rushed to finish my work so that i can join you guys downstairs.. but when i went down it was over.. within seconds i had to go back up to transfer my files again.. i said i'll have to go up alone to transfer so sian.. but no one bothered. then i tried again.. but everyone was packing up and looking at the leftover mac rubbish.. then i was left to walk out alone.. back upstairs to be alone seconds after rushing down to join everyone.

so i was unreasonable. there wasnt a need to be pissed or unhappy. but i just felt so and i lashed it out on you. sorry.

the tons of sorry dont seem to work anymore. whenever i slap myself. i meant it. my face would hurt and so does my heart. its just when i feel like my sorry doesnt seem enough to let you forgive myself that i do it. i just want a reply that the apology is accepted. and if it wasnt there i'll give up and piss you right back off. and make you and i more upset. i'm sorry.

but i know that you dont like me doing it. and there are times that i do the same back to you, knowing that it doesnt feel good when people dont accept your apology. sorry for doing it.

we've been busy and stress, expecting more from each other.. i shouldnt expect anything. i should plan and do my own things myself.. that you are just a bonus to help me pick up the details i forget. but i should still be doing my own work. sorry for letting you do 2 share of work and worrying 2 times more than you have to.

i really do wanna change. please dont put me down. i turn to you because even my parents dont believe in me. if you turn away.. all i'll do is run away. but i dont wanna run. let me face me.

so be my shoulder when i cry, be my cloud in the sky, be my angel.
i'll be your teddy to hug to sleep, i'll be your coat when you are cold, i'll be your angel.

i love you.. dont forget..

jiayou for exams! muacks.

xiaoqi.sq loves you at 11:59:00 PM.